Let the experts be experts

Last Friday evening I took the kids to see Bentley.  When we finally got back to see him we were told that the "protocols had changed".  A culture had come back which identified Bentley's infection as MRSA.  We had to put on surgical gloves to interact with him.  We also noticed that his personality had changed.  He was a bit more uncomfortable.  We had a nice visit, but we knew that this wasn't going in the direction we wanted it to.  On Saturday I had 12 hour duty and Krysta was playing catch up with a million things, and she worked all night.  It was the first day since 21 November that we didn't get to visit him.  It's hard to believe that it has been a month since he was hit.  Every single decision we have made, we have questioned, and the cascade of decisions since the first have all come with their own cost.

I've made a two observations in the last month that I would like to share with you.  The first?  People make hard decisions every day.  We have spent so much time around the staff at Augusta Animal Emergency (AAE), that we have gotten to see some things that you may never get to see.  I can't tell you about those things because it's not my place to. It's personal and it's private.  It's our unspoken agreement that when we get to lay with Bentley, that everything happening around us in none of our business.  It's their story.  I wish I could document everything I've seen.  They don't get credit for the horrible phone calls they have to make, the long hours of surgery, the years and years they have dedicated to becoming experts, or the countless successes that return pets to people like me.  It's truly amazing.  Their dedication to their profession is inspirational. 

The 2nd?  A lot of people think we are crazy :)  I can see it in their eyes when I tell them what we are doing.  I'm ok with that.  I don't have many friends outside of Facebook LOL.  Professionally, I am very outgoing and go out of my way to engage people and make them smile.  Privately, I don't spend a lot of time with anyone outside of my wife and children.  I don't go out, I don't drink, I don't have those relationships that many of you have.  I have a best friend and we became friends in a time when time was all we had.  I couldn't create that relationship with him today because I don't have time to create it.  I don't have desire to create it.  It's preexisting and permanent.  My other friend is a dog named Bentley. He makes all sorts of noises when he sees me.  He snorts and shakes and his whole body wiggles.  I have a different relationship with him than I have with my Huskies whom I also love dearly.  He is constantly trying to crawl into my lap and when I am dealing with a bout of anxiety or depression he makes me feel better just by being next to me.  He's a pretty easy friend to have. So even though I understand where people are coming from, I hope they try to understand where I'm coming from. 

Krysta and I stopped to see Bentley last night on our way to her work holiday party.  We tried to get a few pictures of him wearing some cute Christmas stuff, but he wasn't trying to participate in that.  Unfortunately, he seemed a little bit more uncomfortable and just couldn't seem to find a position that would suit him.  We left him wondering what the good doctor might say when he saw him the following morning.  You're always hoping for great news, but great news is a little hard to come by these days. Bentley did manage to drink some water and he seemed comforted by our presence.  I wish he could just tell us what do or what not to do.  I would like to think that he just trusts that what we decide is in his best interest. 

Bentley isn't suffering, but he's in a lot of pain.  The right leg is damaged and the infection hasn't done it any favors.  Krysta was able to visit this morning and got some pretty tough news.  Due to so many different factors, against his own desire to salvage the leg, the doctor recommended amputation.  At this point, the condition of the leg, and the amount of pain in the hip is putting him in jeopardy.  It's preventing him from rehabilitating his left leg and it's wearing him down physically and mentally.  If we lose his will to participate, we lose everything.  I called Dr. Davis from the rehabilitation center in Aiken and had her call Dr. Runnels to discuss the risks/rewards.  The general consensus from the experts is to move forward with amputation.  Sometimes you just have to let the experts be experts.

So this is how I left my buddy tonight.  His face burned into my mind on the long drive home.  Tomorrow his right leg will be removed.  He will go through a recovery period.  While that may be painful, it will prevent so much more long term pain.  As soon as possible we will get him to Aiken to start rehab.  They have a chair that he will use to help him.  They said we can borrow it to use around the house.  It should support him enough to allow the left leg to gain muscle mass.  More importantly, we will get him home and that in itself will make him happy. 





This story is far from over.  I just want to thank you all again for your love and  support.  We also want to thank the staff at AAE and Dr. Davis from Aiken.  Please pray for Bentley tomorrow.  If you are not the praying type, think about him tomorrow and put some positive energy out there.  It will be an extremely difficult day for my family and I.  Much love to all.